532. Never turn down a breath mint.

531. If you need to explain a joke, it probably isn’t funny.

530. The drugstore is no place to catch up with old friends.

That sure is a lot of cranberry juice, Phyllis.

That sure is a lot of cranberry juice, Phyllis.

SUBMISSIONS

I am a loyal tumblr-er, and I hesitate to direct anyone to any inferior social network, but in the interest of inclusivity, you may now submit your rule suggestions via facebook™. There is no need to ‘like’ the page, although you are welcome to do so if you wish. We’re all friends here, you don’t have to prove it.

Of course, I invite you all to continue to send your suggestions via the SUBMIT A RULE link on our tumblr as well.

Thanks for reading! Carry on.

“A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

Lana Turner

What’s so funny?

529. Try it without the sarcasm.

528. It’s better to be right than first. It’s best to be both.

“If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

John Steinbeck

HAVE YOU TRIED THE SHUFFLE BUTTON?

(it’s up in the top left corner)

527. A sportcoat is worth a thousand words.

With a jacket this loud, who needs a speech? (King George VI)

With a jacket this loud, who needs a speech? (King George VI)

526. Weigh yourself every morning. The battle of the bulge wasn’t won in a day.

“In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.

Patrick Bateman, American Hero Psycho